Michael's Dispatches



07 November 2012


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').


2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'


3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.


4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.


5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.


7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.


8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.


9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.


10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.


11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).


12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.


13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.


14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).


15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!


A message from Michael Yon: The author(s) of this hilarious message is unknown.  It has been attributed to John Cleese.  If Snopes is to be believed, this is untrue.  The message appears to have evolved from numerous authors over time.  It went viral on my Facebook with about 1 million viewers so far.  Please join my Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelYonFanPage

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    Deidre · 9 years ago
    Nothing makes me laugh today, Michael...even something that is truly funny. 11/6/12, a second Day Which Will Live In Infamy. To have re-elected a man who hates America, wants and now will get the opportunity to "fundamentally change" her thoroughly, destroy the free enterprise system, destroy freedom of conscience and religion, destroy the middle class..on and on and on. Eric Holder will remain in office. John Kerry will become Secretary of State or perhaps even Defense. Our military will be further debased and PC'd. There will be a Constitutional Convention in which our Constitution will be scrapped. Oh, God, what a state of despair I am in...nearly comparable to that felt by those good Germans who foresaw what Hitler would do to Germany and made every effort to get out before the dictatorship imprisoned or killed them. We were the last best hope. Now we have opted for socialism!!! We have an utter FAILURE as President and people left him in the Oval Office. U.N.B.E.L.I.E.V.A.B.L.E!! The saying "We get what we deserve" apparently applies here. Over the precipice and gone forever.
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      gachong 84 · 8 years ago
      What rubbish, Deidre. By the way, this little article first came out during GW's "reign". Now THAT era, thanks to Mr. Cheney, was when we came closest to emulating the what Hitler did to Europe--as confirmed by Europeans (now U.S. Citizens) who lived through that era of fear mongering that the Nazis were so good at. John Kerry is, actually, our Secretary of State. And on that note, always interested me, when I was in Iraq during that election, how so many of the Vietnam Vets (my era) that were working there were so adamantly opposed to Kerry--who, regardless of the Silver Star issue, at least volunteered for service and volunteered for Vietnam--but supported two draft dodgers, GW and Richard "I had other priorities" Cheney.
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        Deidre · 8 years ago
        gachong 84, Kerry did not "volunteer." Where did you get that idea? From the same source which says that George W. Bush is a draft dodger? As for Cheney, I don't find his draft deferment status particularly admirable and will leave it to his own conscience.

        Sorry that you cannot see what a disaster Obama is for our nation. Most lefties are congenitally unable to view their philosophy as the ugly, freedom-hating, anti-self-reliance garbage it is.
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      Deidre · 8 years ago
      While certainly not in as much despair as I was on 11-7-12, I am being proven right re Obama's hatred of America and Americans who disagree with his vow to "fundamentally change" our beloved nation. His penchant for blaming everyone but himself is straight out of the leftie playbook he was indoctrinated with since birth. His petty viciousness is added in via his Chicago mob of red diaper babies. Try as he may, he has not pulled the welfare wool over everyone's eyes. We see him for who he is...a lost little boy abandoned by his parents and taking it out on America, blaming her as the cause of every world ill. And as for the idiot who intimates I don't like Obama because of his race, I'll flash my civil rights credentials and match them up to anything he can show. He's a racist for suggesting race matters rather than policy.
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      Ming the Merciless · 9 years ago
      The shame is on the Republican party and that weasel Mormon the mitten, for refusing to fight the ennemy, for refusing to use his official name on his fake birth certificate, HUSSEIN, for refusing to denounce his daylight robbery of 15 trillion dollars, for his treasonable act of arming the Mexican Narcos, for his treasonable act of deliberately denying help to our dying embassador, for his treasonous collusion with the country main ennemy, Russia.

      All this make the mitten and the Repug party the accomplices of that illegal alien in the White House Barack HUSSEIN Obama!
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      mermaid michele · 9 years ago
      Although I am in complete agreement with most of your post,...at the risk of quoting yet another Brit...Never Say GONE FOREVER! The fact that we are mourning this day, our constitution and history doesnt NOT mean we are "forever" doomed.
      Thanks Michael! PERFECT humour! lol I can see why it was attributed to Cleese. Sounds very much like him eh? Veddy good! and "Nevah Give up!" Nevah!
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      Tim · 9 years ago
      After the rain there is the sun, after the darkest night there is the dawn.
      Disappointed we are, yet still all is not lost, I, for my part, will look to my God. We can buckle down and get to work, and do a thing or two, and by His grace our congress is not made all of bozos. (this time)
    • This commment is unpublished.
      Repunzel · 9 years ago
      Hey Girl,
      You need to loosen up and get some happy-pills into you, that or change your therapist.
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        hippiepooter · 9 years ago
        My dear boy, firstly, acerbic comment may be justified towards Deirdre for her incorrect nomenclature. If I may be of assistance Deirdre, it is HMQ (Her Majesty the Queen), not, forfend, HRM (Her Royal Majesty?).

        Secondly, Mr Repunzel, One thing the restoration of the Realm will require is *manners. There are ways of addressing yourself to a lady Mr Repunzel that are simply not done.

        I pronounce you banished to North Dakota.

        Deirdre, if you wish to partake in classes on how to curtsy, please write to my via Sir Michael Yon (oh, that let the cat out of the bag! Awf with my head!)
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    Tim · 9 years ago
    North Dakota born and bred - we of the Frozen Chosen laugh at your puny attempts of rule, we have the oil, we have the nukes, and we have the power!
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      Bernadette · 6 years ago
      :-) funnnny Tim. Nothing is worth getting up about as lennon (john) said.
      Chilllllll outtttt. do some yoga and pray for a happy end to your miserable life (dreary Deidre)
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      mermaid michele · 9 years ago
      My immediate reaction when I read that one was "sh#t! I live in Colorado! LOL Stay sane ND!
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    SickNTired · 9 years ago
    Seriously. Ya'll need to grow up. You keep moaning like it's some new Soviet Union ya'll living in. The sole point that you can moan and bitch the way you do openly here kind of proves you are not.

    So what, Obama is black, and I bet that kinda stings in a majority of you guys eyes, he might not run the politics you want. But to go as far as to start bitching and moaning about living in a dictatorship and what not. Are you guys serious? How about you guys go live in North Korea, or maybe Cuba, or perhaps even China before you start bitching and moaning about how terrible it is in the USA. I betcha tons of people in those above mentioned countries, not to mention Iraq and Afghanistan, Belarus and a score of other nations would gladly trade their life for yours any day.

    Take a moment and grow up please, all this Obamacrying is getting so tiresome by now.
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      woodNfish · 8 years ago
      Tough shit if you don't like it Sicko.
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      mermaid michele · 9 years ago
      Actually -I guess I'm one of the 2% who HAS "lived" elsewhere,..including some of the places you listed. GUESS WHAT?? the USA today is not any different from other aging bearucratic empires that are in decline! I stopped moaning about it long ago and RETURNED to roll up my sleeves and share what I've learned and started shovelling up the crap and "getting my own house in order". How about you? I'm doing what I can ffor my kids [or others kids as I have none of my own.] And listening to those who have lived through harder times before. We've forgotten so much of what we already knew. Time to REMEMBER and BE RESPONSIBLE to something besides OURSELVES. Rock on Michael! Rock on!
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      MIKE Z · 9 years ago
      The color or Obama's skin has nothing to do with it. It is his policies and ideology that are the problem. He has spoken very plainly that he wants to change America from within.
      Your argument about the people in other countries sounds like my mother when I was a child and wouldn't eat my lima beans."children in other countries are starving" There is not much I can do about that.
      And as far as "Obamacrying" The democrates are still crying about Bush. Tell me, when will it be Obama's fault?
      BTW - Michael loved this post and all the others. Thank you for the job you do.
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        Integral Doc · 9 years ago
        @Mike Z - In your opinion, when should we start blaming Obama for the disaster of Iraq? How about the fact that Jr put both wars on a credit card that had to be paid after he left office? When should we begin blaming Obama for the worst jobs growth between 2001 and 2009? When should we start blaming Obama for taking the Clinton surplus and putting his and the Republican Party's spending spree on our collective credit card?
        Despite the unprecedented use of the filibuster, and a Congress whose leadership vowed to make their number one objective over the subsequent 4 years, the goal of making Obama a one term president, we have come back from the brink......we came as close to a complete economic meltdown as we had at anytime since the Great Depression. Our entire automobile industry was on the verge of collapse. Personal bankruptcies due to medical expenses were at historic highs and government growth was spiraling out of control......all of that has now changed in the positive.......and not because of the Right, but rather because of those that reject the Right.
        No doubt Stephen Colbert was on to something when he said that "Reality has a well-known Liberal bias."
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          Pam H. · 8 years ago
          Seriously, obama supporters...you can't be that blind, deaf and stupid can you? Just look at his actions and see him as he really is. A spoiled brat throwing a tantrum because we won't bend over and take his healthcare crap for 2- times the amount of money that people are paying now. Have you read the thousand + pages yourself? I don't think you have. The only supporters obama has now are the free loaders who are too stupid to see that nothing is ever for free. He is a POS. And you deserve what you get when shit does indeed, hit the fan.
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            jeff · 5 years ago
            Obama has done nothing but distroy this country no doubt & he & his sorry piece of crap wife have spent more money on vacation than any President ever! !! He has done nothing for the American people unless you are Muslim or gay ,transgender or one of those other sickos !! He has managed to double most people's insurance With his BS obummer care, he has devided race like no other by blaming his immature behaviour on people being racists believe me anyone who support him or killery are brain dead in my opinion !!!!!!!!!
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          El Gordo · 9 years ago
          So the evil Bush forced the Dem leadership to vote for the war - using methods so cruel Joe Biden had to repress the memory of doing so - then stuffed all the unpaid bills in a mattress in the Lincoln bedroom where Obama found them in January 2009? That is your theory?


          By the way, unemployment under Bush? Look it up. Any month of his Presidency beats any of Obamas. Didn't Cowbert tell you that? Well, HE is doing ok I guess.
      • This commment is unpublished.
        SickNTired · 9 years ago

        Does not matter what you say. It was the same crying from the democrat way when Bush was in power, and I found that equally childish. The very fact that there is a democrat president in office right now proved them wrong. Just like it will prove the doomsday-we-live-in-a-socialist-state people wrong the next time there is a republican president elected, and believe me, that will happen too.

        I never meant for you to do anything about the situation in either of the countries i mentioned. More like compare your own country to those countries, and ask yourself if USA is really the same as those countries?

        Right now what I think USA needs is for people to stop bickering back and forth on who is more right than the other, and perhaps select the middle way and go forward working together to make a better nation.

        No one side has the final and best sollution to USA's needs. Its a too vast country with too many different ideas and people in it. The only way to really get the nation going again is to co-operate and whatever levels one feels one connect. I doubt that democrats and republicans disagree on just about everything, there is common ground between the two, and thats where the work needs to start.
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          Greg · 9 years ago
          Remember whiteys, if you disagree with Obummer, it's not because you have a different view or position, it's because you're a racist.

          However, it's not racist for all blacks, oh, excuse me "African Americans" to vote for Obummer because he's, uh, well, sort of African American, Half-white? Half-black? Hawaiian, or whatever the media wants him to be at any given moment.

          It is however racist for whiteys not to vote for him because he is, uh, whatever the media needs him to be fill in your story here.
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            jeff · 5 years ago
            I don't know why blacks call themselves African Americans because most of them have never even been to Africa nor would they know where it is on the map w/o it being labeled !!! I know a few real African Americans & they are actually white so go figure that one out !!!!! We are all Americans if we are born here regardless of the color or skin !!! Obummer is the worst president ever & that is no doubt !!!
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            SickNTired · 9 years ago
            Well, you have tools like Bill O'reilly claiming one of the reasons for Obamas victories was due to the demographics changing, and that the white establishment was no longer in majority. (You can't have fair and open elections when the white establishment is not in a majority? o.O)

            Add to that wonderful quotes off this pages such as.

            "All this make the mitten and the Repug party the accomplices of that illegal alien in the White House Barack HUSSEIN Obama"

            "A pro Islamic terrorist Communist cretin who has surrounded himself with like minded communists and socialists! A half-white never gainfully employed jackanapes who, has done nothing to create a better world for us and our children, just more tax and spend rhetoric with promises of nothing but more taxes and more spending on entitlement programs that no one has a Constitutional right to in the first place!"

            Just to quote a few, but im sure that has nothing to do with racism at all.

            Then again granted, many of you do have valid points as well, but seem to lack to see that they get hijacked by people with perhaps less open minded attitudes, and I see very little of refuting comments like these on here, which I find kind of scary.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    smokechecktim · 9 years ago
    I'm sorry michael but my lawyer says I will have to sue you. The laughing has damaged several ribs and left me unable to work.
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      mermaid michele · 9 years ago
      :lol: yup! The American Dream has been reduced down to winning the lottery or winning a law suit! I didnt think anything could make me laugh today but you and Michael did! TY!
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    Toadstepper · 9 years ago
    A few years ago I wrote a letter to LCDR Roy Boehm after reading his incredible story (google him or better yet, read his book). This guy is a hero of mine and I just wanted to reach out to him to let him know how much I appreciated his service and sacrifice and the example he set for me and the son I am raising. He wrote me a thoughtful response that focused in particular on supporting our leadership. He was specific in his words that we should as a nation back our leadership while they are in office and hope for their success even when we disagree with some of their ideas. He wrote how a nation divided on its leadership left itself weak to its enemies. He was talking about President Bush at the time but it applies just as much today.

    Last Sunday you probably watched your favorite football team on TV. You may have sat with your jaw dropped at a call your team's coach made that you just knew would hurt your chances at success. You probably thought that what he did or said must surely be hurting the collective morale of his players. But you probably wouldn't consider removing him from the sideline in the middle of the game. And you probably still had respect for him as a leader and hope that he would lead his team to success. You wished success for him in the midst of decisions you disagreed with because his success meant the team's success.

    God Bless the USA!
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      mermaid michele · 9 years ago
      :-) Indeed! We forget the primary reason for our country founding was this very principal. Figureheads and their pet ideas come and go. Its what the meat and potatoes do -or don't do,..together as ONE.

      Amen brother! You honor the spirit by recognizing this hero.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    MIKE Z · 9 years ago
    I get tired of being called a racist because I disagree with Obama. I agree that both parties need to work together. I am afraid that the days of the role up your sleeves politician who know how to bargin are gone.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    Sandy · 9 years ago
    That is too funny for words, and we really and truly need a good laugh after last night's news. :-x
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    Andy · 9 years ago
    I need every laugh I can get these days. God help America. :sad:
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    Chefpaulo · 9 years ago
    Apparently written by a yank as there was one minor slip-up. A British tax agent would be from the Inland Revenue, not the Internal Revenue.
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    Traci Wilberger · 9 years ago
    Too funny! Thanks for the lift in spirits Michael! :sad: :-| :roll:
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    Pete McNesbitt · 9 years ago
    Grow up kids. Obama won, now its time take the conspiracy theories and go lay them down by your dish. I hope that all elected people will grow a set and learn to govern. And if you think what you signed to Grover Norquist, will keep you from acting like an adult and doing your job it is time to quit.

    I trust all elected officials will remember the Oath you take, is to the United States of America and the Constitution. And not ALEC,Norquist or the Chamber of Commerce. YOU applied for a job, the voters are your BOSS, not Rush nor Fox News. Living breathing people,despite what the Supreme Court says about corporations.

    Democrats, you hold office too and are just as responsible for the mess this country is in. You weren't given a majority because Americans, just don't trust any One party in complete control, that notion can lead to excess and chaos. You have been as much of an obstruction as the other guys.

    Both parties can squabble in their sandbox all you want, but when its time to pick up your and toys and work together DO IT. Remember the rest of the country is always aware we can be outsourced, as can any other bunch of unproductive whiners as are both political parties. So grow up and start doing your JOB.
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    Kris S. · 9 years ago
    and speaking of childish, here's another view from Sen. Ted Stevens' series of tubes http://www.michaelyon-online.com/components/com_jcomments/images/smiles/lol.gif :

    Subject: "Dear Red States...

    Dear Red States:

    We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

    We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

    In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

    We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

    To sum up briefly:
    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

    We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

    We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

    We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

    We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

    You get Alabama.

    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

    Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

    With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

    With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

    We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

    8% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 5 % that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

    We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.


    Citizen of the Enlightened States of America"

    Rant away:
    • This commment is unpublished.
      Texas · 8 years ago
      This is Texas. Call us when you need natural gas and oil, 'cause Alaska ain't blue.
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        Tom Dekker · 8 years ago
        Although England may not want North Dakota I'm guessing this jerk may have a hard time heating his house without Texas, Alaska or North Dakota. Have fun on your beach. That may be the only place you can stay warm!
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      sirwnstn · 8 years ago

      LOL! This letter is hilarious. I love how the ENTIRE letter spells out how much finer and kinder, and how many orders of magnitude more morally superior the "lefty" blue states are, and then, has the audacity to bash the "61% of the crazy bastards" for believing they have better morals than the left. Classic. Goodness gracious! Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle. The guy you're mad at, his name is Mr. Pot!
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    El Gordo · 9 years ago
    Regarding point 4, this is uneducated nonsense. When QE2 was young, every law abiding Briton could own guns. Manners were better and there less violence and theft. Britain then would have had some things to teach us, Britain now? I am not sure.
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      Concerned person · 5 years ago
      Yes but how many school shootings have we had?
      How many of our people have been killed with guns by police?
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    from oregon · 8 years ago
    Thats pretty much awesome.
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    ret7army · 8 years ago
    As a citizen of the former state, and now Sovereign Free Nation of North Dakota, I salute you.

    * As North Dakota has the economic clout to pay its bills, and still leave some in the bank;
    * has the nuclear deterrence capability of the formerly USAF, now NDAF, bases located within its territory;
    * has the capability to produce and refine its own oil with more for export;
    * has the hydroelectric and wind power capacity to provide more than what it needs, etc., etc.

    We look forward to future economic cooperation, at applicable international rates.

    We are curious however, just what you plan on attempting to do about the Sovereign State of Texas?
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    DeAnna · 8 years ago
    :lol: I like it a LOT!
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    Stephen Carter · 8 years ago
    God Save her fracking blessed Britannic majesty! :P
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    Stefan · 7 years ago
    Oh the irony. To those lamenting over obas reelection. If independence was revoked you'd get a lot more government health care than anything Obama could ever muster.

    The British have an imperfect but very much more inclusive and functioning system that involves government run universal health.care.

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    charllie · 7 years ago
    Dear Michael,
    I've got the (allegedly) original version, which stated that that state that the Queen did not fancy was Kansas, not N Dakota! I was kind of relieved coz I came from KS!!

    Thank you three times!
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    daiwill · 7 years ago
    for all those taking this so seriously, GET A FRIGGING LIFE, oh and by the way it Zed not Zee, another job for HRH to sort out 5555
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    Dunebuggy · 7 years ago
    We don't need a Queen to run the U.S. We have had a "KING" since 2008
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    Norberto H Lopez · 7 years ago
    YOU WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Matt Love · 7 years ago
    Hey Queenie,

    Nice to hear from you. To clear up a couple of points of confusion... 1. I don't want to embarrass you, but it must be said (and you know it as well as I do, saying you are going to revocate our independence is like Crimea announcing it's annexing Russia. 2. The donut was invented here, so we can spell it any old damn way we please. . Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK. Please don't help spread silly conspiracy rumors.

    Your friend,
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      Ian Sterrett · 7 years ago
      Royal Protocol does not permit Her Majesty to respond directly, therefore I refer you to the British Press. Good Day!

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-247551 /Doughnuts-British-invention-according-historians-unearthed-invented-English-upper-classes.html
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    Ross · 7 years ago
    Embarrassing as it is, I should really point out that America never really attained independence.
    If it did (and I have somehow missed out a chapter in history) I would really like to know more about the democratic vote or referendum that triggered HRH to proclaim independence.
    If such an event has occurred without HRH's approval, I can only suggest it is:
    a) a coup
    b) a terrorist state
    c) A dictatorship
    Don't believe me? Ask John Kerry...
    • This commment is unpublished.
      Markws · 7 years ago
      I thought a coup and a revolution were essentially the same thing. Either way, the British were the first second nation, after France, to recognize American independence by signing the Treaty of Paris after Yorktown. Thus making the United States the only major nation in history to fight for, and procure, its own independence.
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    Matt Love · 7 years ago
    An excellent catch, well done, my friend, I partially concede the point. We did not invent it - but look how Queen Elizabeth's illustrious forebears spelled it: 'dow nuts' . I repeat: 'dow nuts,' So where does she get off chiding us for skipping bunch of letters, when the problem is actually her putting a bunch of extra letters in. We are much closer to the mark that she is, you must concede that point if you are a gentleman and a scholar.
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    Michael Collins · 5 years ago
    an inexhaustible list of comments - as an Englishman who lived most of my adult life in CA much I agree with
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